Friday, July 24, 2020

The 2nd time around........

"It's a bloody disgrace mayyytteeeee....." My attention span right now is terrible, worn down by years of idly staring at computer screens. It's my last day at work, my last time driving my company car, having quit in a fit of pique, so my mind isn't entirely here. I have to recap where I am with a deep confused sigh..... I'm in Big W, a chain store that specialises in little more than random availability these days, as evidenced by holding the startling purchase of new grey shoes and a bucket. Why do I need a bucket? Who doesn't need a bucket.... I'm plunged into a conversation by the declaration of things being a disgrace, having seconds before been happily in my own world. I'm aware as I stare into an awkwardly flickering neon light that I'm the only person in this conversation. It also strikes me that for some reason, I've become aware that even the most stridently anthemic pop music can somehow be ground down to soundtrack your experience at Big W. Is that Nirvana? The voice of disaffected youth? In Bloom tinkles over the PA, now the voice of disaffected middle aged bucket purchasing...... "I'm sorry?" I say, as if on polite autopilot. My questioner is a girl far too young to be so old, a blue eye shadow flecked girl bedecked in the corporate livery - I think her name badge said Karen, but that might just be my mind playing tricks. "It'sabloodydisgracethisvirusmayytteee" she says in a tumble of words, not taking a breath. Her eyes are flickering around the store, as she swipes my shoes over the scanner. "Yes...", my words tumble out in a non committed fashion. "Comes from China you know!" she says. "The shoes do" I say. Levity. Classic. She tuts conspiratorially... "The virus, mate, the virus....." I'm tempted to say "keep the bucket" to get out of this conversation...... "It's certainly a problem" I say, making a big call. I look over to a small, shambling man, bent over, glasses nearly falling off his face, struggling with a big box containing a lawn mower. He looks at me as if to say I'm on my own..... Nirvana have given way to some songstress I'm too old to identify.....she trills away merrily..... Time stands still..... She's lost interest in sharing her views now, with her eyes now visibly disgusted I'm paying in cash. Soon I will be sitting at my desk one final time, and then I will return to my bucket, and my shoes, and my collection of items that add up to an existence.... She looks at me one final time though, as she puts my shoes into a bag. She leans over her counter, pushing her chest in my direction, letting her ponytail fall onto her shoulder, her name badge glistening like I'm under an interrogation light. "Don't go to China!" she says, like a final pearl and colonel of wisdom purloined from her 19 years on the planet..... I nod, and she smiles like we've shared a moment. She has food on her teeth.... It bothers me for the rest of the day....